![]() ![]() One thing that teachers in the esoteric area have emphasized over the years is that it can be dangerous and disturbing to meet the other dimension, as it were, head on without a long preparation. On the other hand, they have been described by various mystics and visionaries over the centuries, so I am inclined to take them seriously. It is easy to suggest mental conditions as an answer to this kind of experience, but to my knowledge (I trained as a psychologist, though I did not specialise in the clinical area) these specific experiences have never been cited as symptoms of known psychiatric disorders. Has anyone else ever experienced something like this? Since he left, I've never experienced something like this again. If it was real, if it was another reality bleeding through, if it was just a hallucination, or what. To this day, I don't know what to make of all of this. He walked through, shut the door behind him, and it vanished. You know what you have to do to go through." A white door appeared in my room, emitting a blue and purple light. He told me he didn't want me to kill myself, but if I felt I had to, it was my choice. I got a visitation from this guy I had been having visions of. On Christmas eve of 2007, I sat in my room and had everything set up to overdose. Since then, nothing I've ever felt has compared to the depth of my love for him. I remembered our house, I remembered how he loved gardening roses, I remembered how deep our love was, I remembered his personality, I remembered the pain of losing him. I was genuinely terrified.ĭuring all this, I would have visions, "memories," of having lived an entire life with a husband who passed away. You know when a DVD glitches, and you see images from the last frame stuck in the middle of the next frame? That's exactly what happened right in front of me. One morning, I was crying in my room, when I saw something strange. I heard the words so distinctly, telling me that there were people who loved me and I needed to live for them. I heard distinctly in my head words that were not my thoughts, telling me not to kill myself, which I had been contemplating (why live if nothing is real?). I know you might say I knew this and just forgot I knew it, and it snuck into my dream, but I swear to you, I had no idea until that moment when I looked at the date.Īnother time, I woke up in the early morning, and the sunrise suddenly moved me to tears. ![]() ("I've got the spirit, but lose the feeling feeling feeling.") When I eventually went and looked at my calendar, I realized it was the the singer, Ian Curtis's birthday. (The part that goes, "In dreams until my death, I will wander on.") Another time, I woke up to the ending of Joy Division's "Disorder" playing loudly in my ear. One day, I woke up to the bridge of Audioslave's song, Like a Stone, playing so distinctly, I went to see if my radio was on. Today, both my domestic partner and our daughter have red hair. It's hard to remember everything, this was over a decade ago, but one weird thing he told me was that people with red hair would be important in my life. He told me about things that hadn't happened yet. I started seeing a man appear in my room, and he started telling me about reality, how it worked, and why. And I started seeing things, and hearing things. ![]() The only mental illness I've ever been diagnosed with has been depression and anxiety, which I don't think could cause this. Now, what happened, you could write off as paranoia, but I am convinced this was something real. The song made me weep and suddenly, with astounding conviction, I believed life was only a dream, and that I was the only real person, and I was dreaming all of this. I listened to the album "With Teeth," and the last track, "Right Where it Belongs," posits that life could all be a dream. So, when I was a teenager, I was really, really, really into Nine Inch Nails. ![]()
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